life like moving pictures

by bedbug

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1.
you want live forever or at least as long as anyone remembers but that's rapidly passing lifes just TV and dinners and kicking and screaming rule breaking and dad makes you tired broke your nose in the deep end your class mates all laughed your whole walk home to dinner they stole our lunches and wrote in margins of books that they’ll never love you and they never found a body so i know that when so you ran away you went all the places you promised we’d go but you never came home for dinner
2.
and you won’t even miss me you won’t even know i’m gone every time i go to sleep i feel like moving close to god and i think that it could happen ‘you never know’ And now my headphones feel like home More than any city I know your be gone for research stations you’ll be halfway cross the world And I will stay in Boston or maybe I will move back home i'll take my dogs to arboretum’s you'd name every plant we saw We will meet tomorrow talk shit about the weather get buzzcuts every winter get out of this scene for kids who go to college but pretend like they don’t i’d pretend anything, to be always getting better Get out this city for kids much smarter than me Gone back to philly or at least moved out of boston ten years from now, wanna be somewhere warmer cause the cold just makes me meaner i’m a few steps to seattle i still miss the sequoia even though I’ve never seen them and i’ll go back to cusco and you’ll go back to quito it’s not how we remembered It's spring time but snowing it's a blizzard in my office on the fifth floor a goliath in concrete dresses jarring jagged out the finance districts pockets when summer comes I'll write it again flowers grow out sidewalk cracks and my buildings made of matchbox cars and everything else it's a hundred story toadstool the spores just make me anxious I’m tired and I'm anxious I'm tired and i'm normal i dunno what I’m not saying i dunno what I’m not heaven is a place forever attic of the video store theres a hundred thousand lovers and a life like falling snow i will write another album call it homes that i lost I will write an Album call it love and all her children And everyone would spin it The greatest music ever Cause every songs familiar and every song was new
3.
birds nest 04:10
clouds are made of crows nests paper doves and candy cotton fogs made out of lamp posts tree shadows and open windows burned too many bridges couldn’t help it couldn’t change it even if i wanted too and i think i wanna do something nobodies ever done go exactly to where everything begun god is building railroads and skyscrapers and city busses so maybe they are natural maybe I’m still natural god is building geysers the earths a super soaker and i don’t wanna grow up anymore at 21 I wanna go to Mexico or somewhere with jungles like the movies and mangroves where the sky's just a canopy of of tree leaves parrot colors look like sodas and the weather feels like home I stopped checking your messages I was saving them for later Just in case I really need em and a hundred fifty years from now kids in school will write in books we remember dylan we remember bedbug they’ll all sit around in circles and clap along to songs i wrote this will all be justified we’ll feed birds we’ll catch frogs we’ll stay outta hell and send off some get wells and we’ll walk dogs and we’ll go down in history i’ll take you all with me and we’ll stay in our nests we’ll never be stressed and we will be famous , like a-list
4.
sent you acorns and buttons and CDs in the mail i got a lot of junk compare my room to heaven and i guess things might get better the thermostat is broken cause the landlord can’t be bothered can i compare you to the summer cause both make me seem nicer i’m trying to be nicer change myself completely watch some tv get some real work out of college like a spaceman i wanna be a salesman or something fucking cool man and everyone would hate it they’d key my cars and wreck my plans i dunno why everyones still trying to leave i just read on the news that the birds are getting smaller their wings look like scissors and down i don’t miss the street lights but i do still miss the moonlight can’t appreciate the night time till you’ve moved back out the city till you’ve moved back to the country three dogs in your rv all named after movies you're shop lifting and rule breaking today felt just like heaven felt like angels making snow making x box making gum and paintball three dogs in your rv all named after movies slice of life teen dreams that you swear that you’ve seen ------------ And so you still feel real pretty Pretty like the weather Pretty like the sunlight gleaming off the litter In your driveway or how everyone outside is each a nightlight with their phone Your too tired for nightlife Just like that song said. The one that used to play that just made you feel younger and like you’d exist forever Until you overplayed it It used to be your favorite Now you don't have a favorite You just listen to construction and birds near your apartment You like it better.
5.
6.
tv judges 03:52
i wrote an album called it heaven’s brand new body and it’s based on a true story of all the times i’ve been on trains reading drowned out by the rain i was just pretending either way but I’m really mostly thinking every time that i come home your in bed already that i love it either way yeah i love it either way I used to walk my dogs on skateboards round the lake I used to fall bleed out and die and it was fucked up it was great you’d come over everyday if you weren’t so far away so i’d call you just in case All those weekends when you would come to visit and life paused for that moment or was it just the beginning our dreams are consecutive we could live two separate lives signs on kitchen windows say a spoiled rotten dog lives here or a heart around a navy badge, or jesus bless this family TV Judge mundanity but everything seems holy i know that looking back make everything seem holy i had died a thousand times on that car ride back to boston what if all these highways are trees rooted forever i’m rooted in pleasure in our future apartment if the world is ending at least the clouds are colorful at least death could be beautiful the movies never lie to you at least it will be real life it looks just like the pictures do it feels like when i talk to you it feels like all those movies from the mid-2000’s that still came out on vhs i come home your and your in bed
7.
I know in another life Your me turned twenty two And you'll soon see twenty three You'll have flowers long hair and bottle rockets Spinning hoops in class reading fiction novels Bout how your parents got to Boston I know that everything is changing The world is ending it's ok I'm not afraid cause it's ok I envisioned that I died I envisioned that I died Every night For a while PepsiCo has fallen now it's CEO is laughing been twirling signs outside For awhile America the great America the mountain The desert and the sky I'm not afraid of the Arizona desert Or it's children pray to God 7000 pray to God Don't even have to pray to know You motherfuckers will get what's coming I only write songs about songs I love And being pretty, nothing more You can see the whole entire city from Christine's
8.
9.
i look up to jupiter she sees me in saturn her heart beats like a pattern or something less mechanical our veins mapped out like subway cars and how’d you think they get so far when everything’s in motion and i’m feeling kinda rushed, kid im 21 and useless its a good thing i get manic a couple minutes every hour cause everything is messy the world is full of broken things i still love it and no one stands above it and if i joined a party and ill start hanging out less do you think anyone will notice theres lilacs in my body the pictures all move freely lifes like bigger screens that you all watch without me can you see the seasons leaving well, everything is changing and everyone’s always changing except this Allston basement im 21 i hate this I’m alone and i am weightless The northeast is my cradle The woodlands feed me maples Youll do grad school in Seattle And I'll stay here forever And one day you'll remember Waking up over and over It's a pretty vivid picture that your aunt gave you for Christmas cause you asked for a different sweater something more your color Something for that weather when your cold and in bed later And the thunder outside is crying but the rain is pouring upwards And as you step outside you lose your mind your shirt balloons with water You thought about that album called love and long lost children called mother natures daughter called no one’s ever known her And you will float to heaven And you'll count to 27 And you'll awake again at 50 And i wonder if your lonely
10.
When did winter end I must've just missed it I must've slept right through it I must be going crazy lately high up on this building looks like the snow is falling faster gravity’s working backwards when you’re tired and feeling slower if i write songs for god and heaven maybe i will live forever I guess the worlds still ending so i traded in my body death is just a freeze frame like the last scene of a movie you don’t have time to miss me now times my biggest burden we’ll die so fucking pretty in love I’m still obsessed with endings like a hundred thousand lovers one day we’ll feel better you won’t feel like leaving you’re already sleeping by the time that i get lonely and you’re still back in philly visiting your parents maybe one day you’ll stay there when did summer get here i forgot that it was coming i forgot that time was passing i forget a lot these days
11.
i describe life with moving pictures on the road from home to boston and spend my time in headphone splitters and LED Bulbs pouring out glitter it’d be fun to flunk out college we’ll go down as dimwit heroes and robbing graves. "the worlds most haunted" if we back down now they’ll fuck us up rotten so i’ll wish you all the best when winter makes you blue cause whenever it snows all i think about is you you love the rain and you love the sun everyone’s seen and everyone’s sighing everyone’s the best and everyone’s dying if the world still spins in quick rotations the world still goes through all the motions i wonder if you still feel lonely if your mind still sets itself completely i wonder why i still get so anxious i’ll dye my hair and run till heaven time still heals and life still pulls and life still moves like collages i love it i’ll count down the days i’ll skip town someday life like moving pictures and bigger screens and strange weather and death scenes we’ll throw our phones into the ocean blue we’ll change our names to something cool and i’ll write songs before i die and they’ll keep me alive you’re playing too rough you’re still in a rush i’ll grow up be something cool i’ll turn empty into water we’ll snorkel through the stars till we get lost till we get lost and never found exactly how we wanted exactly where we’d love to end it "one day i’ll be like all the others time comes for us all but ideas remain" ...and so will we
12.
13.
Dry air helps my brain shut off in the winter or the autumn fall spent the day on the bus i still call you angel The dog ran to the lakefront can’t afford a new one We both fell from pine trees and never woke up The obituaries and family letters say they died doing what they loved, climbing branches, and eating fences guess I’m sorry, hope you’ll miss me in the morning i feel the same way about those old movies as our apartment theres a new type of beauty called game boy lights hidden under pillows you’re still on business selling souls and trail mix feels like a series wrap on a made for tv movie same shit we’ve heard before its hard to believe you’re gone i’m not i get you’re emails weekly or something life like lullabies skipping town at 25 cause everything’s in motion and everyone is hoping we’re blessed we’re blessed
14.
today looks just like heaven our bodies glow like angels our arms outstretched to god and a hundred thousand lovers dancing till the moonlight disappears god is a reflection of all the things you do and heaven could be too cause if nothing else is up there if nothing else is up there... when did winter end i think i must’ve missed it i must’ve slept right through it i must be going crazy been missing you more lately especially in mornings when you’re still in bed without me i will never be a lonely spirit, “thanks for nothing" cause seasons stay forever and seasons stick together you're always missing busses you're always making fusses you’re sleeping in and crossing streets and you’re always in rushes in your head but not your body so you still feel real pretty like the weather that billboards always changing that skaters braking ankles this city never changes except for all the people and heaven never changes i’ll sleep forever showbiz forever bedbug forever do this forever heaven forever

about

wrote this at a time in my life when a lot of stuff was changing around. treat this like the last chapter of a book that started with "if i got smaller..."

thanks for sticking with <3

credits

released August 7, 2020

all music by bedbug
some vocals by julia & meilyn
mixing by bedbug & mica
mastering by mica

Tapes out via Joy Void

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bedbug Boston, Massachusetts

without doubt, revolutionaries, like all other individuals, do fall in love

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